By SuperShe Staff
Sometimes, you just want to have crazy sex in your silver Subaru Forester. We get it. But let’s be real: it can be a total clusterfuck trying to come in a car. Limbs are flying everywhere, you’ve got a kink in your neck, the windows are fogging up, and, oh shit, is that a cop walking over?
There’s a million and one ways to bungle a backseat bang. Even if you are able to get it on with your face up against the dashboard, it’s often not blow-your-mind amazing. But we’re done with that. It’s time to have the most fantastic four-door f*@k of your life, SuperShes, because we’re taking the wheel with the best tips for making love on those leather seats.
1. Sexify your sunroof.
Let’s begin with an oft-ignored amenity that comes in handy for an unforgettable in-car coitus: the sunroof. Yours doesn’t have to simply be the thing you accidentally leave open and only remember when it starts to downpour.
“There are great ways you can make use of the sunroof if you’ve got one,” says Donna Turner, a contributor for Volonté, the news and advice site from the chic Swedish sex toy company Lelo. “Have your partner sit in the passenger seat as you stand out of the sun roof with your feet on either side of your partner’s hips. Then wrap your thighs around their face like you’re sitting on his/her shoulders, but in reverse. This way, you may experience amazing oral sex while looking out of the top of the car.” Hopefully at a sunset coz that’d be romantic.
2. Turn up the heat without melting in the backseat.
This might be a no-brainer, but worth noting anyway: Sex in your Sedan on a hot and humid day might lead to a meltdown.“Think about what it’s like to be an egg in a boiling pot of water; that’s what it feels like inside of the car,” recalls Eleanor, a SuperShe who hails from Florida, of her sweltering car hookup last May. “He’s dripping sweat on me, and my feet are up against the window with my legs dripping sweat into my eyes. Eventually, we had to open up the door just to let the steam out!”
Hmm, hard pass. We came for penetration, and not so much for perspiration. Sure, working up a sweat is par for the course, but within reason. If it’s hindering your performance or grossing you out, then stop and save it for the AC indoors. Or if you like the excitement of semi-alfreso sex, swap the daytime for nighttime naughtiness instead when it’s a bit cooler and the blazing sun isn’t beating down on you, advises Turner. Added bonus: After hours offers increases privacy, which brings us to our next word to the wise.
3. Get laid, not locked up.
In many U.S. states, getting caught with your pants down in a public place is classified as a misdemeanor. Before taking the risk to pound it out where all can see, check the local laws where you live, and know the consequences of exposing yourself to anyone who didn’t give consent, even if they’re the peeping Tom glancing inside your car.
When it comes to legal repercussions, “Things get even scarier if you’re in an area that may have kids,” says Echo, a workshop leader and Pleasure Pusher from SHAG, a prominent Brooklyn sex shop. “So steer clear of schools, children’s parks, or even some libraries and recreation centers,” she says.
4. Find a discreet destination to do the deed.
As noted above, public sex is both risky and risqué, but still, we admit, it’s crazy fun, too. “We pull into the parking lot,” recaps Lana, a SuperShe from Connecticut, of her first hookup on wheels, “and it’s so sexy and hot because there’s this aspect of ‘Oh, maybe someone could see us,’ and ‘What if we get caught?’”
If you’re running low on gas and ideas of where exactly to do the nasty, try an empty or abandoned drive-through movie theater or a scenic, secluded campground, suggests Echo. And always, always, always have a fast get-away plan. “I recommend having clothes that are easy to throw on in case a cop shows up,” she advises. “You can also try getting busy with your clothes on, which helps lower the chance of getting in trouble if you’re caught. Plus, how hot is it to start having sex without even having the patience to get naked?”
If you’re really in an isolated location: Let it out, woman. Seriously, get LOUD. “Try playing around with noise if you usually have to keep it down at home,” says Echo. “Put on your favorite sultry playlist or erotic audio from the stereo” and unleash your primal scream.
5. Add some quirks to your quickie.
Once you pull up to Pound Town—population: you and your lover—take some classic positions for a spin, but with a twist. Try the Lazy Doggy, for example. “You’re almost in full downward dog position, and you can wrap around your partner’s torso,” says Lisa Finn, New York-based sex educator and brand manager for the popular sex shop, Babeland. “The movement is going to be more of a rocking than a thrusting, which is not only good for if you’re in a tighter space, but it’s really, really good for G-spot stimulation because you can really aim whatever’s penetrating you—be it fingers, a cock, a dildo—down toward the belly button, which is where the apex of the G-spot is located on most bodies.”
Or, if you’re not so bendy, the forward-facing Reverse Cowgirl might be more your style. “Push the driver’s seat back and recline it as far as it will go so he’s lying down,” says Turner. “Then sit in your partner’s lap, facing out the front of the car; keep your hands on the steering wheel to help you grind. Passing drivers will only see your head and shoulders, leaving them none the wiser.”
6. Switch up the 69.
Mix up your bump and grind in the backseat with some oral in the form of the sidecar 69. “Instead of being one on top of the other, you’re sort of laying in an inverted spooning position,” explains Finn. “This is good for backseats of cars where you don’t have so much width. You’re just kind of playing with the idea of that closeness.”
If you like that position, you might also enjoy this: “This position is best described as the person on the bottom laying flat on the reclined seat upside down, so their head is perched on the edge of the seat bottom and their feet are sitting at the headrest,” says Echo. “The person on top would climb over and — depending on the width of the seat and the size of both bodies — sit on the person’s face, allowing a modified 69.” Warning: Don’t hang out here too long. Blood rushing to your head faster than you can gush might kill the mood and bring on a headache.
7. Take a toy for a test drive.
No, your iPhone hasn’t accidentally slid under you on the car seat, and that’s not your parents calling. That vibration is coming from an insanely hot toy that’s perfect for getting frisky in the car: a remote-controlled vibrator.
“The way the We-Vibe Sync works is that it’s an internal wearable, and it sort of clips around the G-spot and the clitoris,” explains Finn. “You can wear it during penetrative sex as well, which is dope. It’s pretty seamless, and it can hide very, very easily under clothing.” A no-show way to turn your partner on in the car? Sounds like a sexy secret to us. But please, be careful. If you’re in the driver’s seat wearing this vibe and your partner’s toying around with the controls to get you all hot and bothered, make sure your full attention is on the road while the car is in motion. Or better yet, pull over so you can close your eyes and throw back your head in ecstasy.
8. Grab some goodies that make you come on-the-go.
Think the travel-sized aisle in your local Walgreens. Now, replace all of the mini shampoos with accessories for sex that are the perfect size for stashing in your car. “There are multiple brands of flavored oral gels that come in teeny pillow packs for people on the move,” says Jacqueline DeMarie, a buyer and manager for Nitecap Megastore and former sexpert blogger. Fun-sized packs that are easy to toss in your bag can help make going down on your partner in the car even more mind blowing. DeMarie recommends that you also purchase stimulating wipes and one-ounce packs of your fave lube brands that’ll have your windows fogging up even faster—and they’ll all fit in your glove compartment.