Society can make choosing not to have children feel like the mother of all mistakes. Whether it’s your gal pals or your parents, it seems like someone’s always asking you when you’re planning on producing some offspring. Well, news flash, people: some of us just don’t want kids and it’s perfectly OK to admit it.
So we’re changing the narrative from childless to child-free, because not bringing up a baby doesn’t make you lesser than. Too often, women are seen as selfish or spinsters if they don’t want kids, and that is absolute B-f*cking-S. In fact, the number of babies born in the U.S. hit a record 32-year low in 2017 and badass babes, like Jennifer Aniston, Oprah Winfrey and Helen Mirren have opened up about their decision to pass on procreating.
To end the stigma that surrounds choosing no children, SuperShe is sharing stories from ladies who decided to ditch diapers and do life their way in this ongoing series. If you’re one of them, we want to hear about your experience!
“I don’t necessarily like kids. I mean, they can be fun, sometimes. But I find babies to be completely useless and annoying. Not only would it be too much responsibility, but also it would feel like an imposition for me to have kids because I don’t like them. I would have to do all this work to take care of them. I have lots of goals in life and I already have so much going on that I feel like I don’t have enough time in the day. So I don’t know how I could possibly accommodate another human being. I’ve always felt this way, but I thought I would change my mind someday.
I resent the implication that women should have to have kids—that it’s part of our biological instinct to have children. A friend recently made a comment to me along the lines of, ‘Don’t worry! One day, the maternal instincts will kick in.’ And my dad would always say, ‘Your mom didn’t want kids either; you’ll mature some day.’ He also used to say he didn’t think people had fully grown up until they had kids. But now I’m 29 and I still don’t want kids, and my dad has actually come around and said, ‘That’s fine, I understand that it’s a personal choice.’
I’m not saying there’s no chance I’ll change my mind. I just think women have an unfair burden because they’re the ones who are expected to do most of the caretaking. I believe you can find fulfillment without becoming a mom. The fact that I can travel whenever I want and that I can spend my days focused on my career or on my own needs—those are all positives. With dating, it hasn’t been that much of a problem. Not wanting children has led me to date people who feel the same way.”
— Suzannah from California